A Step at a Time

In the spring of 2004, I stood on my doctor's scales, and there it was: The number that I had been dreading, 196 pounds. How could that be? I had spent my youth making certain that I was neither too thin nor too heavy. At 58 years old, I was dumbfounded. I had finally become my grandmother! Desperately ill with an asthma attack, I was gasping my way through the worst respiratory infection of my life. My diabetes was shooting through the roof, and the prednisone that I was on simply made my glucose levels higher. My doctor placed me on a powerful antibiotic, then he quit his practice. Great! Now, I had no doctor.

A diabetic asthmatic lives in fear. Very high blood sugar levels can cause blindness and a number of life-threatening conditions, including kidney failure, coma, and even death. Diabetics are six times more likely to die of the flu. More than 5,000 asthmatics die every year. I could not get these things out of my mind, and my panic made my mouth dry and my flesh crawl. To top it all off, I was living my nights awake on the couch, switching channels in TV hell! Every morning my husband checked on me to make certain that I was still breathing.

My husband's devotion was nothing short of amazing. His hand would brush my hair back, and I could feel his love pour into me. My daughter Helen stayed on the phone until she found me another doctor. My daughter Jenny stayed up with me far into the night, until I fell into a fitful sleep. Slowly, I began to recover. I finally was able to see my new doctor, and according to her scale I had dropped nine pounds, simply because I had been unable to eat. I realized that it was possible for even this diabetic to lose weight; however, I was unwilling to continue on a starvation diet.

My turning point began with a simple scripture. "For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's." I could not see where I was glorifying God in my body if I continued to eat and eat. Sure, I loved food, but I loved my life more, so I began where I was. Weak and breathless, I began a daily walk on a motorized treadmill.

The first week I worked my way up to five minutes. It took me weeks to reach a sustained 15 minutes. I stayed at that level for more than a month. My arthritis made the going slow and every step a painful task. My feet would often give out on me, but I stayed with it. Slowly my stamina improved, and amazingly, so did my breathing. After consulting with my doctor, I chose a high protein/low carb diet, and I stuck to it. In a few months, I was off of my diabetes medicine, and I had lost another 11 pounds.

In six months, I had walked my way up to a mile. As I lost weight, my feet hurt less, and my failing immune system began to improve. I stayed with that mile every day, one step at a time, one day at a time, and I've been walking nearly every day for over three years. During that time I have lost nearly 40 pounds. My weight often fluctuates, but my health keeps improving. I don't weigh myself, except on my doctor's scale, and I don't count calories. I stick to my diet and exercise, and I don't give up.

It's not been easy. I often miss my favorite foods. The holidays are hard, but not impossible. I've developed high-protein recipes. I use Splenda instead of sugar. I use roasted, defatted soy flour, oat flour, powdered gluten (the protein in wheat), and ground nuts and seeds. I've developed recipes for many of the things I love – muffins, pancakes, and, by golly, even donuts! I've learned the hard way just how much the wrong carbohydrates will hurt me. Once I learn that a food elevates my blood sugar, I never eat it again. I take my vitamins, and I test my blood sugar often, sometimes six times a day. The cost to my health makes even favorite foods not so appealing.

What keeps me going? Prayer and worship music. Lots of it. I have come to realize that this body of mine, no matter how imperfect, is a gift of God. How is it honoring Him, if I am not taking care of the gift He has given me? I never expected a greater reward than simply being obedient and losing a few pounds. However, God has been generous. For the first time in nearly 20 years, my body is fighting off infection. Scratches and bruises that used to take weeks to heal are gone in a few days. I haven't had an asthma attack in more than a year and a half.

Yes, I'm slimmer, and as I celebrate being 62, I'm happier and more fulfilled than I think I have ever been. I take my vitamins every day, and I keep walking, a step at a time. Yes, I'm still a diabetic and an asthmatic; however, I am trusting in God and allowing Him to take charge of my life. It's a journey, this walk with God. A step at a time. A day at a time. Each time I refuse to eat what will harm me, I get stronger in my purpose.

I have learned that life is about making choices. We choose to love or not; to forgive or not; to laugh or not; to be faithful or not; to give up or keep going. Life is a lot like my treadmill, one day at a time, or my diet, careful food choices, a bite at a time. I'm certain that God is worth it. I'm worth it too, and so are the ones I love.

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