Dear Lee – Picking Up the Slack for the Mom-to-Be

One of my coworkers is about five months pregnant. Although I'm happy for her, she seems to take an inordinate amount of time off to go to appointments, and I'm expected to pick up the slack. In fact, over the last few years, several of my coworkers have had children, and while they were pregnant the rest of us had to deal with their regular absences. I made a decision a long time ago not to have children, so I know it's not going to even out in the end. I feel like I am getting the short end of the stick. How do I deal with this unfair situation without looking mean-spirited?

Sincerely,

Not in the Family Way

When I was in university, I worked in a hotel restaurant. There was no such thing as regular breaks – you took a break when the rush died down – so I would often work for six or more hours non-stop. Soon after I started working, I noticed that my coworkers would disappear, usually once an hour, for about 15 minutes. While they would claim it was a "bathroom break," I discovered it was actually a smoke break. And since all my coworkers smoked, they all played this little game. Being the only nonsmoker, I was the poor schmo who not only went without breaks, but also had to pick up the slack for the smokers.

But bringing another life into the world and sucking cancer sticks are two very different things. And although I begrudged (and continue to begrudge!) the addicts their breaks, you can't really look at a pregnant coworker going to appointments in the same way. Although you're justified in feeling resentful at having your workload increased, there is, unfortunately, not much you can do about it. She's pregnant, and she is entitled to take time off for appointments.

But why do you think she's taking an "inordinate amount" of time? (I assume you're comparing her pregnancy to other coworkers who appeared to take less time off.) Do you think she's taking advantage of the situation (e.g., taking the whole afternoon for an appointment that should only take an hour)? Unless you have proof, however, you can't just assume she's taking advantage. She may have complications – that she doesn't want to share with everyone – that require more frequent or longer visits.

If, on the other hand, you do have proof (e.g., you saw her shopping at the local mall during one of her "appointments"), then speak to your supervisor. Otherwise, keep your resentments to yourself – unless you want to be shunned by the rest of your fertile coworkers.