Dear Anne – I Don't Like My Coworker

I don't like one of my coworkers – it's not that she did anything, but her personality just grates on me. The more I try to avoid her, the harder she tries to be my friend. I'm about ready to tell her outright to leave me alone!

Sincerely,

Please Leave Me Alone

I once had a roommate like this while I was attending university. The more I pulled away, the more aggressive her attempts at friendship became. I finally reached my breaking point, and told her that I just didn't like her. It wasn't something I relished doing – I'm generally a kind and easygoing person – but I just couldn't take it anymore. I tried to tell her as nicely as possible but, really, how nice can you be telling someone: "The thing I don't like about you is … well … you"?

So, you could do what I did, but in hindsight, I felt really bad about the way I handled it, because like my old roommate, your friend sounds pretty sad. She's either clueless, or she's desperately in need of a friend.

The problem is that responding the way I did will not do your coworker any good, and it'll likely do some damage – and not just to her. In my case, one of our other roommates, who was originally my friend, sided with her. Obviously, our household broke up.

So learn from my mistake. Be understanding. You don't have to like her, and you don't have to be sociable. Continue to say no, but be nice. Hopefully, she'll eventually get the hint.

(See also: Dear Lee – My Coworker Doesn't Like Me.)