Dear Cindy – Is Mirroring a Good Idea?

I've heard that a person should mirror the interviewer during an interview. Is this right? What do you think?

Sincerely,

Mirror, Mirror …

Mirroring may refer to emulating gestures, body language, emotion, tone, language, and/or jargon. The general idea is that mirroring is a way to establish rapport ("like attracts like"), and shows that the interviewee is paying attention.

The problem is that people usually go overboard, mimicking gestures, body movements, phrases, etc. to excess. (Yes, people really do this!) And this, as the recruiters I polled put it, "totally creeps (them) out." The effect is similar to that familiar childhood scenario of the annoying little brother or sister who keeps repeating every word you say, which results in a fight, or in "Mom! Billy's copying me!"

Mirroring to excess also means that you're not being yourself, which will make you uncomfortable. It can also give an interviewer the impression that you're mocking them, you're dishonest, or you're lacking in self-confidence. (And what if it's a panel interview? If you tried to mirror, the interviewers would think that you had multiple personalities.)

So if you want to mirror, just keep it simple. If the interviewer mentions an interest that you share, or having worked in a town where you've also worked, etc., say so. If the interviewer smiles, smile back. If the interviewer is energetic, be upbeat. If the interviewer is more sober, don't try to be a clown. And obviously never mirror anything that is negative.