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Dear Cindy – When I Wasn't Feeling Well

By Cynthia M. Piccolo (Career Questions)
dearCPNotFeelingWell image

Dear Cindy: 

I work for a boss who others term a micromanager. The other day, a coworker asked a question about whether I happened to remember how many items we filled for a customer order. I wasn't feeling well, and said, "No I don't remember offhand how many we did."

My boss sat right down at my desk, thinking she was being quiet, but addressed the situation within earshot of the coworker. She said, "We try and take into consideration when someone's not feeling well ." I cut her off, because I couldn't believe she was saying this (reprimanding me in front of another). I replied I didn't feel well at all. She said something to the effect that I need to say if I'm not feeling well, because my response to my coworker was very short. I told her I wasn't being short, because I said no and added the rest, that I didn't know how many items we did.

I was more than aware that we were talking about this at my desk, with my coworker an earshot away. I got embarrassed and started squirming, feeling like I was under a microscope. I told my boss I don't like to advertize the fact that I'm not feeling well. She ended it by saying, "Well, we care about you very much," and left my desk. But it's anything but at times such as these. (What am I supposed to say, "May I have your attention: I'm feeling ill, so if I'm not Sweet Sally Sunshine and all bubbly, you'll have to excuse me"?) Needless to say, my coworker didn't feel put off by my comment.

My question is: How do I handle situations like that? I wanted so much to just get up and walk away and say I'm not talking about this now. However, I'm hoping to move on to another job, so I don't want to burn the bridge of a good reference from this boss. But on the other hand, it's very demeaning and unprofessional.

Sincerely,

Wondering

Dear Wondering: 

The fact that you cut the boss off suggests you were aware of what concerned her when she started speaking, and that there might be something to it. In telling your story, you yourself broke up the two parts of your quotation with the ellipsis (). So as you said "No" to your coworker, did you realize it sounded a bit short, though you did not mean it, and therefore added the modifier, "I don't remember offhand how many we did" in an effort to amend the situation? (If so, your story suggests that it worked for the coworker, but not the boss, who happened to overhear.)

What I would have done in the situation is a slight variation on what you did. That is, I would have let the boss finish, and then spoken up. In fact, knowing that my coworker was right there, and realizing that the discussion was clearly audible to her, and that, really, the problem concerned the two of us – and I had really meant no offense – I would have addressed my response to my coworker and the boss. For example, "Yes, I can see why what I said might have been taken as short, even though it was not my intent," and directed to my coworker, "I'm sorry. I really don't know how many units we sent to that customer. Would you like me to look it up?"

Based on your description of the incident, your coworker would likely have given a "no problem" or "think nothing of it" response. She may even have defended you to the boss.

As for the delivery of the reprimand, it's true that it's best for a boss to discuss problems privately. But it's difficult to assess the situation you described without knowing the players and the atmosphere of the office in general. You said when the boss spoke to you that she thought she was quiet, but the other employee was within hearing distance. So it's hard to say if it was innocent (the boss hoped the coworker would mind her own business), or if she was hoping the coworker would hear a little (so she knew she was being 'defended' by the boss, but not the specifics), or if it was something sinister (which seems unlikely).

But what's more important is that you are, or have now become, very sensitive to your boss. It sounds as if your boss and coworker aren't dwelling on what happened, and nor should you. Consider the situation resolved. Continue to do your job well; be open to criticism, assess it, and be prepared to apologize, improve, and/or politely defend yourself, as fits the situation.

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