Dear Lee – Should I Lead the Project If I'm Pregnant?

My boss recently told me that I was being considered to lead a special project, but I just found out that I'm pregnant, and that my due date is just before the project's deadline. I haven't told anyone at work yet. Can I wait and find out if I got the job before telling my boss?

Sincerely,

Should I Speak Up?

I discussed this question with some people in my office, and found that it elicited some very strong opinions.

Some felt that you shouldn't say anything until you found out you got the job. Although labor laws prohibit discrimination based on pregnancy or future pregnancies, we all know that if it comes down to two equally qualified candidates, one pregnant and one not, it's highly likely that the one who is not pregnant will get the job.

Others looked at it from the perspective of an employer, who, having just told an employee that she got an important position, is told that she is pregnant and that her due date is just before the project's deadline. Some said they would probably be irritated; others used the word, "disappointed." And while some said their estimation of this employee would likely not change, others said that their estimation would go down, because not speaking up shows a degree of deception and a lack of loyalty.

Personally, I don't think this question is about whether being pregnant will affect your ability to do the work or whether you will lose the opportunity if you tell your employer that you're pregnant. This question is about being honest and acting with integrity. If you know you're being considered for a job you can't finish, you should say something. It's as simple as that. Especially if your boss – who may be going to bat for you – thinks highly enough of you to tell you that you are being considered for an important position. You owe your boss the same respect and consideration.

So speak up. Take your boss aside and let him/her know your situation. Yes, you may lose the opportunity (and, you know, it could be for reasons other than the fact that you're pregnant). But you may also find that your boss appreciates your honesty. In fact, my boss – the one who used the word, "disappointed" – said she would regard such forthrightness as an indication of a person's level of commitment to the company and, not only would her estimation of such a person go up, she would be more likely to work around an early departure. (If the situation ever comes up, I'll have to remind her of that!)