Dear Cindy – The So-So Reference

I asked my former employer for a written reference, and he let me preview the letter before sending it. I know that he was very pleased with my performance, but the reference letter is full of vague statements like, "'Nathan' is a fine young man who showed much potential during the time that I've known him," and I don't think potential employers will be impressed by that. Is it acceptable for me to ask for a rewrite and point out the things I'd like him to change?

Sincerely,

N

It's hard to win with references. Bad is bad. Really good – if sounding too good – can make people really suspicious.

And then there's the so-so reference. If a person just reads it and doesn't think too much about it, it's probably OK. After all, there's nothing wrong with saying you're "a fine young man." But (yes, there's always a "but") without something stronger after this, if someone thinks about it, the phrase doesn't do much for you, particularly when followed by "who showed much potential." Potential implies a capacity for something, not successful performance or achievement of something.

The good news is that since your old boss was willing to allow you to preview the reference, he probably will be open to some fine-tuning, though he'll not likely be open to a total rewrite. The easiest way to fine-tune this reference would be to ask him to add specifics. If you need the reference for a job that you've already applied for, ask him to add details of your skills, duties, or achievements relevant to those skills required in the new job. If you don't need the reference for a specific job at this time, have him add details relevant to jobs for which you are likely to apply.

Also see our previous query: Dear Cindy – Tell References What to Say?

Good luck!