Dear Joyce – The Supervisor's Friend

My supervisor is a friend of mine. Recently our department went through a restructuring. There were some layoffs, but I wasn't affected. Now my coworkers act like I'm an untouchable teacher's pet. I don't want to lose my friend, but I also can't work where everyone is suspicious of me. How can I convince people that I'm not a pet?

Sincerely,

Friend in High Places

It doesn't matter whether or not your supervisor has given you preferential treatment. Because your coworkers know that you're friends, they will automatically assume that you're being favored and they will be on the lookout for incidents to support their expectations. (And, frankly, they have thousands of years of political – literally and figuratively – history to suggest that their suspicions are rooted in reality.)

Even if they don't find evidence, they will read things into everyday interactions between you and your friend. This is normal human behavior, and we've all been guilty of it at one time or another. And at times of fear or uncertainty, such as during layoffs, this tendency will be exaggerated.

What to do? Put up with the suspicions and hope it will pass. And accept that it may be possible that your friendship with the supervisor is one of the reasons that you still have your job.