Dear Cindy – Tell References What to Say?

The job I am applying for has very specific requirements. When they do a verbal reference check, I want my referees to say the right things. So … can I tell my referees what to say?

Sincerely,

Control Freak

Although you shouldn't tell a reference what superlatives to use when describing your skills and experience, and it is definitely not OK to ask him/her to exaggerate or lie, it is perfectly acceptable to ask your reference to emphasize information that is particularly relevant to the job you are applying for. For example, if you are applying for a management position, tell your referee so they will know to speak about your management experience and skills. And if you don't have management skills, they can speak about the skills you have that will make you a good manager.

Also, if you know that specific questions will be asked, provide this information to your referee so he/she will be prepared to answer them. For example, he/she may be asked how many patients you see in a given time period, how many sick days you've taken, etc. By knowing this information in advance, your referee can give definite answers rather than vague generalizations.

But first and foremost, don't forget to ask before giving a name as a reference. And ask what contact information he/she would prefer you to use. Some people may not appreciate being called at work. Others may prefer not to be bothered at home. And, if you know when a potential employer will be calling, let him/her know so he/she isn't caught off guard when the call comes.