Dear Mark – I Really Embarrassed Myself at the Christmas Party

We just had our departmental Christmas party. Things got out of hand and I really made a fool of myself. What can I do? I'm embarrassed to go back to work. (Yes, yes, I know I should have known better.)

Sincerely,

Christmas Crackpot

The unfortunate thing is that there's really not much you can do. Except, of course, face up to some hard truths.

The first is that you'll be hearing about your foolishness for the rest of the year, if not longer. Unless someone surpassed or surpasses you in this regard, your coworkers are going run with it for as long as they possibly can.

The second is that you'll have to apologize to your supervisor and anyone else you may have offended. (If you're lucky, your escapades won't have any consequences for you besides embarrassment.)

This third is a life lesson. You see, all of the literature out there on Christmas office party etiquette ignores one crucial fact: People expect someone to slip up and look like a fool. After all, when it happens, it's a cathartic moment and liberates everyone else from the anxiety of looking foolish. So, like the goats that were once sacrificed during ancient Bacchanalia, you'll have to accept that your behind has now been offered up to a higher power – office humor.