Focus on Results, Not Personalities

A recruiter wrote to me: "Please help me understand about working in a group setting: For example, nurses working as a team to get a job done, but who do not get along with each other at all. As a recruiter I am very concerned with retention and would prefer that people do not opt to leave the unit."

Basically, the question is: How do you get people to work together and be productive, to respect one another regardless of whether they like one another, and to communicate in a supportive and positive manner?

In this article, we will explore the difference between liking the people you work with versus doing your job. Future articles will address other aspects of creating a work environment that works.

Liking Your Coworkers is Not a Requirement

Whether you like someone or not is your own personal opinion. It's judgment. And it is irrelevant on the job.

When did you ever like everything about another individual? Always there will be things you like and things you don't like. Leaders focus on the good stuff. Look for, acknowledge, and celebrate what is good about the people around you. A respectful environment will be nurtured and cultivated by not allowing the negatives and by encouraging and celebrating the positives.

If you don't enjoy being around, or working with a particular individual, think of it as an opportunity to expand yourself. You learn to manage the relationship in the workplace the best you can and don't spend extra time with that person outside of the work environment. If the relationship is unbearable and there is no chance it will ever get better, if you have done all you can to change your approach with this person, then you may need to consider another job. There is no reason to remain unhappy or miserable because of a negative environment or a particular person.

Instead of focusing your attention on others, focus on what you can control: you. Do your job to the best of your ability and master your craft. This is what work is all about. In exchange for the value of the work you do, you receive a paycheck with some benefits. Whether you like the person next to you or not is not part of the package. You get paid to perform. Getting along with others in order to fulfill the mission of the organization is an important component of your job. It's not about liking people; it's about getting things done.

Look in the Mirror

People are mirrors for us. If there is some quality you observe in another person, ask yourself, "What does this tell me about me?" Often the very thing you see in another person requires attention for yourself. What is it about them that you have difficulty with? Is it about them and what they are doing or is it something you need to better learn how to handle?

Your job in life is to be better at being you. Use these instances as opportunities to evolve yourself. Where are you being judgmental? Judgment is the good/bad, right/wrong, like/dislike. Often when people are quick to judge others it is because they are quick to judge themselves. If you learn to be more compassionate with yourself, learn to like and appreciate yourself, learn to honor and respect yourself, guaranteed you will be more compassionate and respectful with others. Start by recognizing and appreciating the good qualities in you. As you do, you will start to treat others with more humanity, accepting their flaws as well as their greatness.

We are in this Together

Life doesn't always present us with pretty lessons. Sometimes lessons are messy and come in the form of coworkers. But the reality is that we grow through life together. There will always be things you like and other things you don't like about the people around you and even about yourself. That's life. Focus on the things you like and you will experience more joy. We are all on this journey together and when our lives intersect, you can choose to make a positive impact that propels people forward, or you can choose to tear people down. It's your choice: What kind of impact do you wish to make?

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