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Healthcare Insults - Medhunters Medical Community
By Cynthia M. Piccolo
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From time to time, we all feel the need to insult someone. But the common, everyday insults such as "idiot", "fool," or even the more – as our mothers would say – "potty mouth" terms are boring, because we hear them all the time (well, some of us do). So the ezine team at MedHunters thought, why not put together an insult tool that allows healthcare professionals to show off their command of medical terminology? After all, English majors have their Shakespearean insult charts and generators!

Here's the procedure:

  • Choose the appropriate addressee, e.g. You, Those, That, What a, Thou (if you want to be retro), etc.
  • Choose one word from each of the three columns; if you want to be brief, you can choose one from A or B, and add it to C.
  • Hurl the insult at the addressee.

So, for example:

  • You could say something very simple, like – That malformed, overmedicated parasite!
  • Or, you could do something more complex like – You infectious, hyperlethal halitus! (translation: You capable-of-causing-infection, more-than-sufficient-to-cause-death expired breath!)
  • Or you could combine a few totally unrelated terms because they sound insulting – Thou sebaceous, furunculoid hypermorph! (Look it up yourself!)
  • Alliteration is also good, for example – What a swollen seborrheic sphincter! You bloody bacterial boil! etc.
Column AColumn BColumn C
AcidicBacterialAbscess
BloodyCadaverousBed Pan
BubonicComatoseBiohazard
CankerousContagiousBladder
CausticEsotropicBoil
CatalepticExcrementitiousBowel
ChronicDegenerativeButtock
ClottedDeliriousCancer
DiseasedDissociativeCavity
DysstaticDyscrasicClot
ErythroidDysentericColon
FactitiousExsanguinatedCramp
FatalFlagelliformCranium
FebrileFungateDischarge
FesteringFurunculoidDisease
FetidGastricDisorder
FlatulentGlutealDrain
GaseousHairy-cellEdema
GelatinousHydrocephalicEmbolism
GeriatricHyperbaricEmetic
HidradenoidHyperacidicEndomorph
HistotoxicHyperacuteEnema
HylineHyperdistendedEpistaxis
IdiopathicHypereccriticEruption
ImpotentHyperestheticExcreta
InbredHyperexcretoryExperiment
IncontinentHyperfunctioningFever
InfectiousHyperglandularFistula
InflamedHyperhidroticGallstone
LeprousHyperkineticGonad
LethalHyperlethalGranuloma
MalformedHyperlipidemicGrowth
MalignantHypermanicHalitus
ManicHyperphrenicHemorrhoid
MuciferousHyperplasticHypermorph
MutagenicHypertensiveInfection
MyopicHypertrophicInjury
NanousHypoactiveIntestine
NecroticHypoplasticLaxative
NeuropathicIntrapsychicLeech
NeuroticJaundicedLesion
NosopoieticMacrocephalicMeasle
PolymorphicMicrocephalicMicrobe
PolypathicMicrophallicNeoplasm
PruriticMonomorphicNerve
PsychoticNauseousNodule
PustularNonorganicObstruction
PyroticNosocomialPain
RabidOver-MedicatedParasite
RelapsingPoisonousPill
SebaceousPolylepticPimple
SepticRetrogradePlague
SomnolentSeborrheicPolyp
SpasmodicSpongiformPustule
StaticSubnormalRanula
StenoticSuppuratingSecretion
SweatingStrangulatedSphincter
SwollenTelergicSpore
SyphiliticTremulousSputum
ToxicUlceratedSubspecies
TumorousUnder-MedicatedVirus
TurbidVaricelliformWart
VegetativeVertiginousWheal
VomitingVirulentWound
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