Keeping Stories Alive

What legacy can you leave your family as your last days draw near? Are all the fences mended, and have all the words been said? For those in palliative care, it may not always be the case. Sometimes the words do not come easily in a face-to-face encounter. Loved ones may no longer have the ability to vocalize their wishes and regrets. Sometimes because of careers or personal commitments, a face-to-face encounter may not be possible. Shortage of time may leave us with much unfinished business.

My Stories

Hospice of Michigan has recently started a program called My Stories, which records the voices and stories of patients in hospice care. What better way is there for generations to come to know and remember the stories, voice, and person? The My Stories program is a statewide service that gives palliative care patients an opportunity to record their personal stories about love, childhood, history, humor, and other topics important to them. It was designed to help patients and family deal with their emotional and spiritual issues in the face of death.

Trained volunteers interview the patients, and record the interviews on a CD that they call the My Stories audio memory book, which is given to the patient. The process of recording each patient's treasured stories typically lasts between 45 minutes and one hour. The service is free for patients interested in recording their life stories and is funded by private donations. Hospice of Michigan volunteers undergo 20 hours of patient care and bereavement training, and receive an additional four hours of training on the My Stories program to master the equipment and learn interview techniques.

The benefits of the program have profound effects on both the patient and family. As a writer, I wrote my life story for my young grandson. I wanted him to know me: the young girl, the wife, the mother, the professional, and the grandmother. I wanted to share the essence of me. I was fortunate; I had the talent to write and the gift of time. However, writing may not be an option for palliative care patients, who have neither writing ability nor time. The My Stories program offers a viable alternative. Furthermore, as good as my book may be, my grandson will not have the opportunity to hear my voice. He will not be able to hear the sighs, the tears, the elation, and the laughter that in turn becomes the essence of me. My Stories fills that void.

Hospice of Michigan social worker Jennifer Eitniear, who works with the Grand Rapids team, states, "So many of our patients have interesting stories and a rich heritage that the younger people just don't know about. What a gift it is to be able to leave these stories with a family."

Mike Stammis, a 44-year-old brain cancer patient, was able to do the interview in January 2004, before he lost his ability to talk. According to Marilyn Reed, a social worker with the Grand Rapids team, when Stammis was asked what he wanted his sons to remember, he answered, "How proud I am of them."

Dottie Deremo, president and CEO of Hospice of Michigan, explains, "Our families often tell us that they wish they could hear the sound of their loved one's voice, or their laugh. In our home we have hundreds of photos to help us remember, but forget to record the sound of the voice that we loved so much, and the stories that have made them special. We think that the Hospice of Michigan My Stories audio memory book will be a great comfort to families for years to come."

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