Newly Discovered Disorders – Part 2

Following up on last week's announcement of the discovery of four workplace-related disorders (Pre-Vacation Fugue State, Post-Vacation Misplaced Mind Syndrome, Post-Vacation Grief, and Other Day of the Long Weekend Tunnel Vision), here are five more:

• Post-Workplace-Party Malaise Syndrome (Chronic) – This syndrome is most typical among employees in larger workplaces that celebrate many birthdays, showers, promotions, retirements, etc. each year. Symptoms include a late-afternoon drop in blood sugar and resultant grogginess, which requires ingestion of prophylactic substances such as cake, cookies, champagne, etc. After ingestion of preventive medicine, sufferers experience a brief manic state, after which they show characteristics similar to those of kindergarten children requiring nap time. (NB: This syndrome rarely occurs in countries that practice the custom of afternoon tea.)

• Post-Workplace-Party Malaise Syndrome (Acute) – This syndrome is typical at certain times of the year, such as late fall/early winter, when holiday parties are in full swing. Common physical symptoms include grogginess, malaise, and a severe headache, and may include relatively severe nausea and/or loss of appetite. Psychological symptoms inherent to this condition may include localized amnesia, and haunting feelings of regret, dismay, and/or embarrassment.

• Boss-is-Out-of-the-Workplace Hypoactivity Syndrome – This syndrome is colloquially called "The Cat's Away Syndrome." Symptoms include an inability to concentrate and a severe lack of direction, accompanied by difficulty performing purposeful motion, which result in little to no work being accomplished.

• Boss-is-Out-of-the-Workplace Hyperactivity Syndrome – Doctors are unsure whether or not to consider this condition a "disorder" as the primary symptom is a heightened ability to concentrate, and a strong sense of direction, resulting in unusual amounts of work being accomplished. It is a far rarer condition than the above hypoactivity syndrome (but I personally experience it).

• Day After Thanksgiving Syndrome – This disorder affects only working Americans, and manifests itself as a complete inability to work on the day after Thanksgiving. (NB: This may not be a medical syndrome, but instead may be an anomaly of physics and/or the time-space continuum, in which the Friday disappears – at least as a work day.) Canadians usually experience Other Day of the Long Weekend Tunnel Vision around their Thanksgiving holiday.

Also see: Newly Discovered Disorders – Part 1 and Newly Discovered Disorders – Part 3.

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Newly Discovered Disorders – Part 2

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Cynthia M Piccolo

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