Out, Damned Pain!

I've lived half my life with back pain. I have moderate scoliosis, and something fused in my lower back that shouldn't be fused. My doctor told me that according to the medical literature, the fusing is a congenital abnormality, but it shouldn't cause pain. Then he leaned toward me and whispered, "My patients have obviously not read the literature because they're certainly in pain."

I nodded my head in agreement. Back pain and I have become constant companions.

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The pain started slowly – a few twinges here, a couple of stitches there. I'd stand up and my back would protest. I'd place my palms on my back, rubbing gently, trying to iron out the pain. Some days it would work; other days I'd head back to the couch.

As I grew older, the pain became more frequent and more severe, and its impact on my life increased. Over the years, I've used a combination of medication, knowledge, and exercise to manage the pain and get on with my life.

By listening to my body, I learned what activities bring on the most pain. Gardening, mowing grass, and raking leaves are high on the list, which explains the sorry state of my back yard. I'm beginning to accept the weeds, maybe in another few years I'll even like them. For my sanity, not to mention property values, I've had the grass in the front yard replaced with mulch. No more mowing or watering, leading to a happier back and lower water bills.

Shoveling snow is also hard. Most winters I pray for only light snowfalls, but I've bought an ergonomic shovel just in case. When we do get snow, I shovel several times during a storm rather than wait for the snow to build up. The first flakes of snow don't have me running outside to make snow angels, but they don't leave me cowering in the closet either.

On the upside, I have a perfect excuse not to vacuum. Unfortunately, with three cats, the fur balls multiply exponentially. I've considered shaving the cats, but they vetoed that suggestion. A lightweight vacuum and dim lights help.

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Although some days I'd like nothing better than to sit on the couch, I have also learned that in the long run not moving is worse than moving. Or as my yoga teacher says, "Work through the pain and you'll gain flexibility. Give into it and you'll end up immobile." Since my yoga teacher is as old as I am, and I've sometimes seen her rubbing her own back, I listen.

She's right.

I have completed two terms of a special needs class for people with back pain. Through a series of yoga poses and strategically placed weights to release contracted muscles, I've stretched and strengthened my back muscles and diminished the pain. Since then, I've graduated to a regular yoga class. Although I still need a mountain of blankets and cushions in order to do certain poses, the mountain is slowly turning into a molehill.

I've also added walking and strength training to my regimen. Worried about injuring myself, I signed up with a personal trainer at the gym, but specified I wanted someone with a background in chiropractic. I'm working with a third-year student who sees strengthening my back as her personal goal. Every time she goes to a conference or learns something new in class, she tries the exercise out on me, modifying it as required.

She's delighted to have a captive audience; I'm thrilled to have a concerned and conscientious trainer.

I still get up some days and want to crawl back into bed, but those days are fewer and farther between. My back will never be perfect. Pain will always lurk in the background, ready to pounce if I do too much or twist the wrong way. But like a hunter who has studied his prey, I trap the pain as often as it traps me – some days more often.

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