Parents' Potions

Our parents are typically our first introduction to the art of healing. Indeed, for most of us, mom was always there with a thermometer, a warm blanket, and bowl of chicken soup whenever we had the slightest sniffle.

At least, that's the official version. When it comes to parents and healing, however, the truth of the matter is often a bit more like a horror movie than it is like a quaint painting by Norman Rockwell.

Take for instance the time I tobogganed down a hill that ended abruptly in a large iron fence. My father's reaction to the extremely swollen foot that emerged from my boot afterwards was simple. "Ah, it's just bruised," he said, "put a bit of ice on it and he'll be fine in the morning." "But it's the size of a golf ball and it's turning green," replied my mother. "Take him to the hospital!" When he did, we discovered that it was broken.

Something similar happened when I managed to run into a concrete wall while playing indoor soccer. (I've since learned to look up when running with a soccer ball.) Again, my father's response was to put a bit of ice on it and then wait it out. This time, my mother gave in, despite the fact that I had very likely suffered a concussion.

A survey of coworkers here at the office indicates that these aren't isolated incidents in the unofficial history of parents and the art of healing:

• One coworker's grandmother used a hot bread poultice (bread boiled in salt water) for healing the wound caused by a sliver. The idea was that the bread will grow its own penicillin on the wound – but sometimes the burn is worse than the sliver.

• Another coworker's parents recommended Pepsi mixed with two teaspoons of cornstarch whenever their children suffered from diarrhea. (This one may actually work.)

• For yet another parent, nosebleeds were cured by tilting the head back and placing a bag of ice on the forehead. (All very good if you can stomach the blood.)

• One coworker's father had a solution for a stye in the eye – he rubbed his wedding ring in it. Since there's not much that you can do about this ailment, it was probably as good a solution as any.

• Someone else's father (of Eastern European extraction) believed that he had found a cure-all in garlic. Now, while it is true that garlic has medicinal properties, and keeps vampires away, it doesn't really help that much when it comes to making friends at school.

• For one coworker, her parents' solution – for everything – was a cup of tea. Tea was even the recommended cure whenever she or her siblings couldn't sleep at night. (I suppose they were unfamiliar with the fact that tea contains caffeine.)

• Finally, another coworker's mother had a different cure-all solution for any ailment: a large sock covered in Vicks VapoRub. As she puts it, "Cold, flu, cancer, Bell's Palsy – the sock will do the trick!" Or, at least, that's what her mother believed.

And things aren't any better when it comes to siblings. As a child, a coworker with asthma suffered from wheezing fits at night (this was before she had been diagnosed). Her sister would try to "help" her by coming into her room and placing a pillow over her head.

My own sisters would usually just laugh at me whenever I was sick.

Also see our article Old Wives' Tales!

Would you like to share your story about a touching, funny, or memorable event that happened to you on the job? Do you have your own story of being a patient? Email us today at submissions@medhunters.com.

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Mark Grzeskowiak

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